Thursday, December 11, 2008

My Mother Died Last Night

My mother passed away at midnight last night. I knew it was coming but didn't expect it to be so soon. I thought she would at least make it through Christmas and her birthday two days after.

I had prepared myself for this news, but it is still hard to take and I suppose I am still in something of a state of shock. I had prayed just a couple of days ago that if she had to go that G-d be merciful and make it quick so she wouldn't have to suffer. I am at least thankful for that, she simply slipped into a coma and never woke up again. I think that's preferable to suffering a painful, lingering illness and death.

She's at peace now.

I am in Florida with a load heading to Ohio. I am waiting for our dispatch office to open up so I can find out if there is another driver in the area or a reasonable distance away who needs a load and can take mine so I can get home. I am grieving for my mother and at the same time my head is swimming with all of the details that must be attended to. I can't even think straight about all of that right now.

I tried to get at least some sleep last night after getting the news, but it was spotty at best. I remember at one point, between the tossing and turning, having a brief dream that I had rushed home to find that she was in fact still alive. Some part of my mind trying to deny the reality I suppose.

The clock is moving painfully slow right now. I just want to get this load off of me so I can get home where I am needed.

I regret not having made it there to see her one last time before she passed. I truly thought we had a little more time.