Thursday, December 11, 2008

My Mother Died Last Night

My mother passed away at midnight last night. I knew it was coming but didn't expect it to be so soon. I thought she would at least make it through Christmas and her birthday two days after.

I had prepared myself for this news, but it is still hard to take and I suppose I am still in something of a state of shock. I had prayed just a couple of days ago that if she had to go that G-d be merciful and make it quick so she wouldn't have to suffer. I am at least thankful for that, she simply slipped into a coma and never woke up again. I think that's preferable to suffering a painful, lingering illness and death.

She's at peace now.

I am in Florida with a load heading to Ohio. I am waiting for our dispatch office to open up so I can find out if there is another driver in the area or a reasonable distance away who needs a load and can take mine so I can get home. I am grieving for my mother and at the same time my head is swimming with all of the details that must be attended to. I can't even think straight about all of that right now.

I tried to get at least some sleep last night after getting the news, but it was spotty at best. I remember at one point, between the tossing and turning, having a brief dream that I had rushed home to find that she was in fact still alive. Some part of my mind trying to deny the reality I suppose.

The clock is moving painfully slow right now. I just want to get this load off of me so I can get home where I am needed.

I regret not having made it there to see her one last time before she passed. I truly thought we had a little more time.

33 comments:

auburnchick said...

Mason, hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I know she was a very special lady...so kind and firm in her faith.

I will be praying for you and your family.

And...no regrets my friend. She understood what you do for a living, and she held out hope for recovery. It was very clear from her KH posts that she adored you.

I'm sure she is dancing in heaven right now.

micah said...

Sorry to hear about your loss.

You're never too old to have a need for Mom to be around.

Camping Jason said...

Thoughts and prayers to you Mason.

Braeden said...

Sorry to hear that, Mason. You have my condolences.

Kath said...

I understand how hard it is to attend to the details when you are too caught up in the grief. A good friend taught the only method that has ever worked for me...do the next indicated thing. Which is to say - do each thing that has to be done as it comes along, don't pressure yourself to think to far forward, just take care of one task at a time, the rest will be waiting when you get to them.

Peace be with you.

dustinac said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

dustinac

jeanius said...

sorry to hear about your mom, Mason. I hope you are able to get the relief from work you need to tend to the passing of your mom.

Hugs for now.

Jeanie

Ice Princess said...

My prayers are with you and your family. So very sorry for your loss. Big (((HUGS))) for you in this sad time.

Pamela said...

Mason,
I am so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose a parent, isn't it? She knew how much you loved her, and you have so many wonderful memories.
You're in my prayers.
Pam

Rebecca Jo said...

Mason - I am so sorry.... I cant imagine all that is running through your mind trying to get your job taken care of as well as just feeling the grief of loosing your mom...

My heart truly goes out to you!

Kathy said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. You and she are in my thoughts.

Meredith said...

Been following your blog. Sorry about your mother. It's hard to lose a parent.

Cybèle said...

So sorry to hear about your mum. Thinking of you.

Knitting Guy said...

I appreciate the comments. Thanks to all.

Danman said...

My condolences to you. Stay careful on the road. My prayers are with you and your family.

knitmom said...

Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

Shasta Girl said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mom.

My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

Mason, though I don't know you very well, you have my sincere condolences in the loss of your dear mother. I can tell that you loved her by your words. I'm sure she'll be waiting to see you again, but until then may God help ease your heartache!


I'm dibbs from the KH forum - Trisha

MoniDew said...

Much MUCH love to you, Mason. As much love as I know how to send. Know that you have touched so many of our lives and that this virtual family cares about you.

MoniDew from KH

emily said...

I don't know you but I've enjoyed keeping up with your knitting for the past few months. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I'll be praying for you.

Gayle said...

I just happened upon you on Ravelry and noticed the title of your Blog post.....I'm so sorry to read of the loss of your mother. My heart aches for you and the immediacy of your loss, in the same way my heart aches from my own loss of many years ago. It still seems like it was yesterday.
Gayle in California

Nutty Knitter said...

Mason, I am sorry for your loss.....may she rest in peace.
SandyUK

Jo said...

Mason -
I am so sorry about your mom. I hope you can find some peace in those around you
Joanne

Emerald said...

I am so sorry to have read such sad news. I have followed you off and on silently but, now I must say hello and pray that you and your family are finding ways to comfort each other in such a sad time.

Prayers and Rav-love to you.

Knitting Guy said...

Thanks folks.

Margaret T. said...

ust found you on Knittinghelp.com - so sorry for your loss.
margaret

Knitting Guy said...

Thanks

Elaine said...

Hi Knitting Guy, I found your hat pattern a few weeks ago and came back looking for it again now that the rush of Christmas knitting is behind me. So sorry to hear about your mom. How are you doing now? I am going to make the hat this weekend and I'll pray for you as I knit your pattern. God bless you.

Knitting Guy said...

Thanks. I am making out ok.

Good luck with the hat.

Danman said...

Hey, How are you? Grief sucks big time. I hope you're hanging in there. Give us a quick post sometime and let us know how you are.

romantales said...

May Your mother rest in peace, I know how hard it is for you now.
Big hug ... I am on ravelry, too.

Knitting Guy said...

Thanks folks. Am doing about as well as one can. Back on the road again.

Russell said...

my deepest sympathies